There is no way I can explain the past
in a manner that doesn’t somehow
free the sparrow from the barn,
but not before it crashes against the glass
over and over, falling to the bench. Stunned
and on its back, I scooped the sparrow
from the wood and carried it outside
while it slowly turned its head
and nipped my fingers with its beak,
a dun ghost weightless in my hands.
I gave the bird to the crook of a willow
then stood back. Even that day, I had
been thinking of killing myself.
History
Matthew Nienow
Matthew Nienow is the author of House of Water and If Nothing, both from Alice James Books. His work has appeared in Gulf Coast, Missouri Review, New England Review, Ploughshares, and Poetry. He lives in Port Townsend, Washington with his wife and two sons, where he works as a mental health counselor.